I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 43
Good heavens, the incredible shame I had/have about doing this, telling my dietitian, drawing it and then talking about it here. It really took me some time and courage to admit that at times I felt that I had to eat food that I didn’t want, and was so tortured by it that I’d force myself to just get it over with in one horrible, guilty binge. In my first session my dietitian had taken an account of my habits, and when she asked if I ever binged, I’d said no. I wasn’t really familiar with binging (of course I knew what it was, but hadn’t ever considered it applying to me), but knew that it went hand-in-hand with purging, and I knew for certain that I wasn’t a purger. At times like the one described above, I would wish desperately that I could force myself to throw up, but my aversion to puking is so strong I’ll even live through the feeling of having eaten an entire cake in one sitting to avoid it.