I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - Page 45
It feels so conflicting to FEEL your body’s gratefulness at being well-nourished, feel it functioning better, thriving on being fed a balanced, healthy diet… and yet feeling so guilty and disgusting about it. I could feel how much better my mood was when I was eating well, so overall my emotional health was better, I just felt so horrified every day at carrying so much extra weight. I have to wonder why that even mattered - I’ve never been someone who believed in thinness or ‘ideal body types’… but for some reason I was still terrified to feel extra squishy, jiggling, soft fat clinging to my body. I’m still working on that.