I’m a sophomore in college and a feminine-identified lesbian. I am also in a sorority. I’m mostly out to the other members after taking a girl I was dating to our formal, and they were surprisingly supportive, but a particularly standout demonstration of progress happened at—of all places—a fraternity mixer. The frat we were mixing with is known for being kind of “bro-y,” heteronormative, and traditional…a lot of beer cans get smashed on heads, if you know what I mean. And usually I’m like, “EW,” but I decided to go because it was my “little sister“‘s first mixer. While I was there, a frat brother started talking and flirting with me and asked if I wanted to dance. I told him, as I usually tell men, that I was a lesbian. I wasn’t expecting a great response—most of the time, I hear “you just haven’t met the right man,” “I could turn you,” “that’s so hot,” and general bullshit like that. It sucks.
But guys do you know what this dude said? He went, “Oh, I didn’t know! Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I actually have some good female friends that like girls. If you like, I could introduce you sometime. That is, if you’re interested in dating right now.” This lightning-fast display of friendliness and respect, in the most stereotypically heteronormative frat on the planet, in a beer-drenched Greek life mixer. WIN.
No matter how you identify on the gender and sexuality spectrum, keep your chin up! Maybe the tolerance, love, and understanding in this world is slowly increasing, bit by bit :)
This gave me hope today. One of my challenges is remembering to stay open minded and not immediately assume that people are going to respond negatively. Give people a chance to surprise you.